Recruiting time for international educators is a whirlwind of a time, trying to find and be the perfect missing puzzle piece. But before any decision is known for me (because I do not know), I think it is important for me to write this, to know that it is not with bias toward someone who gave me a ‘job’. This is as authentic a reflection as it can be… as a candidate, this remains true, no matter what happens.
There are moments in our careers when we meet a leader who reminds us why leadership matters—and moments when we meet one who reminds us why it must change.
At one finalist stage, I found myself sitting across from a Head of School who spoke as if their institution existed on a shimmering mountaintop far above all others. I was meant to be dazzled, silenced, grateful. Grateful to be in the presence of such excellence, grateful to even imagine entering its orbit. My questions - which I’d argue (perhaps in my own bias, sure) - were reasonable, professional, rooted in curiosity, and they were met with defensiveness, the recognizable tone of, "How dare you?"
How dare you not show up to our space with awe?
How dare you not recognize the privilege of being evaluated by us?
There are people here who will “eat you alive,” they had said, should you ask that question again.
By the time they told me I didn’t get the job, it wasn't couched as reflection or learning or fit. It was a short, one working-day-turn-around shrug. Our miss, they said. We’ll restart the process. Their words felt less like closure or reflective conversation but one last assertion of power.
And I remember thinking:
This is what happens when a leader forgets they are human.
This is what happens when a school is spoken of as an artifact, not a community. (Important caveat: my experience of the teachers and other middle-level leaders on the ground did not match this - the treasure lay within them, for sure.)
But Life, in its strange mercy, sometimes gives you the contrast you need to understand what you truly value. Folding that experience aside, I met a completely different kind of leader thereafter who helped me re-friend Hope.
Someone who welcomed me with intentionality, not intimidation.
Someone who crafted messages to their staff that weren’t about control, but clarity - reminding them that while the final decision rested ultimately with the Head of School, their expereinces and voices mattered, that they should be proud of the candidates the school could attract. A leader who invited me with the words, "Come see the magic. Come feel who we are. You can’t understand us until you’ve been amongst our children."
This was a leader who spoke of their community not as an accessory to their reputation, but as the heart of the school itself. Before I even arrived, they said to me:
Our community is lovable. Our teachers want to do meaningful, joyful work. Our children will show you why this place is special. And we - leaders and staff together - are building something beautiful, piece by piece, not because the school is broken, but because every school deserves a leader who believes in what it can become.
They took my very structured CV for job application purposes and turned it into a portrait of who I am, what I believe in, how I’ve tried to live my work with balance and purpose - and shared it with everyoen in the community. They did this for all three finalists. They didn’t call my attention to how important they were. They called my attention to how cherished their people are.
And in that moment, I realized: You can gauge the measure of a leader by the way they talk about their community. By the way they speak of their predecessors - with gratitude rather than blame. By how they center students - not as strategy, not for prestige, not for myth-making, but as children.
To love your school as a leader is a must, as is to speak of teachers with respect.
To uplift support staff with humility.
To treat parents as partners.
To honor the School Board.
To celebrate students - always the students.
These are not luxuries. They are the foundation of how a leader should lead their school.
And when I met this leader, when I felt their pride in their community, their belief in the humans who make it what it is, I found myself thinking, I want someone to see and speak of me in this way. Not because of status. Not because of reputation, but because leadership like this makes people want to be better. Leadership like this makes people want to stay. A leader who says, Help me understand. A leader who asks, How can you contribute? What can we do together? A leader who holds the bar high and says, I’ll guide you. I’ll challenge you. I’ll catch you if you fall. A leader who listens with empathy and acts with clarity. A leader who knows that legacy is built through people, not through ego.
Everyone deserves to be led like that.
And no matter what happens, I want to honor what I witnessed, because it reminded me of the kind of leadership our world desperately needs: Leadership that makes humans feel seen, not summoned. Leadership that seeks partnership, not performance. Leadership that recognizes that greatness in schools comes not from reputation, but from the people who walk their halls every day.
These are the communities I want to pour into.
These are the leaders I want to stand beside.
These are the places where I want to plant the seeds of joy and my dedication.
This is the leader I aim to be.
No matter what happens, I will uplift the beauty of this process and the people who shaped it. I will remember that the best leaders are the ones who make us feel - deeply and palpably - that we are worthy, that we belong, and that together, we can build something extraordinary.
Having recently experienced it in one place, I’m reminded of the others who have led in this way, too, with the fortune of me having experienced it - perhaps at times taking it for granted.
So: Thank you. You have me holding onto the glimmer of hope that sustains me, that there are leaders who will center humanity as they should - who have centered me as a person, carefully checking in, being honest, and connecting throughout every step.
By further extension, thank you to my amazing mentors who have helped me think through so much of my experiences and growth as a leader, without judgement and without pressure, but with balance and faith in me.
I will sleep well tonight (albeit on a plane!) within this whirlwind, filled with gratitude and renewed purpose… no matter what happens.